AmandaBB.com

I’m finally getting the feeling that I’m really back to stay and that I can have a new start so that helps emotionally wise. I’m still having a hard time of course but I’m really glad for all the support I’m getting from everyone.
Thanks!

I got a nice haircut last Tuesday and my mum dyed my hair. I haven’t had my hair dyed in over 4.5 years and strangely enough it seemed significant.

I’ve also used this picture in my About page and on my Hyves so you may have already seen it.

Wednesday I recieved my new desk and this is what my “new base of operations” looks like :

I got it through Marktplaats.nl which can be seen as a basic Dutch version of eBay. I put Chewie’s kennel on it and a I’ve found a new “Tony Little Gazelle” on it for only 20 euro’s so it’s already proven itself really useful.
I’ve had a Gazelle in America for nearly 4 years and those things are great for people like me with a really bad back. Due to the low resistance it’s a great way to fully stretch out your body and get some extra exercise.
I can really use the extra exercise too since my medications are really bad for the waistline.
I walk Chewie a hour a day but it’s just not cutting it even though I really watch what I eat.
Darn meds…

Yesterday we got the keys to our new apartment so that’s another step forward.
I really appreciate my parents for their support but I’ve been living in my own place for too long now to fully feel comfortable living at theirs again.

I’ve already started on looking for a job but it’s hard to find something that follow the criteria of what I tink I can do which are : work only 2-3 hours a day, short travelling time and something that allows me to mostly walk since sitting and standing is so painful.

The stress of getting divorced and moving back to the Netherlands really seems to be taking it’s toll on me for the last few days and I really feel like “crap” most of the time (excuse my language).
I don’t have a lot of responsibilities right now but I really want to finish the commission I’ve started on, not to mention start helping out with getting our new place ready since it needs a lot of work.

I do have to admit that I have given myself a bit of a break by starting to play Second Life again. This is for fun but also for commercial purposes since I want to start a store there to sell my pictures as posters. I know that I have a lot of competition but hopefully it will bring in some extra earnings since I can sure use them. Raymond has saved up some but I barely have anything left due to our (my almost ex-husbands and mine) financial crises last winter and besides getting stuff for our house, I’ll really need a car too.

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I’ve turned off my Yahoo and MSN messengers because I’m so worn out that it’s too painful to type. I need 2 morfine pills during the night to sleep, even with my sleeping pills.

I’ve already ordered one of those medical desks you see in hospitals off which you can change the angle of desk which will hopefully make typing easier when I lay down and I need to lay down a lot currently due to the flying and extra stress from the divorce.

I hope that you’ll all understand that Im not blocking you or anything.

I have made a new skype through which we can talk and my contact name is amanda-baptist. I love you all and I hope to see you on skype.

I’m glad that I can already see my old neurologist on December 1st so I can finally start my psychical healing…

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Last Sunday we held a farewell party and it was fun but tearfull. I know I suck at saying goodye and I guess I’m not the only one…
This may sound weird but it once again made me realize how much people care for me. Funny how you don’t realize it until something major happens.
Vanessa had given me a cute gold necklace with a double heart pendant and eventhough I’m not into gold, I’m wearng it daily.
It’s a good reminder off the good people and times I’ve had there.

Last Tuesday we left at 9 o’clock to go the airport. It’s a nearly 3 hour drive and eventhough the plane didn’t leave until 16.15, I’m glad we left so early since we only had to wait a hour before boardig the plane. We did have some lunch to but that didn’t take long.
It started with getting everything out of the car. I’m glad that my dad rented such a big car since we had 6 lage suitcases and Chewie’s huge kennel (which is for sale by the way ). Luckily someone from the airport brought us a huge cart to put everthing on so that made it a lot easier. My dad then brought back the rental and while he was doing that, I already started to check in. They didn’t like the fact that my greencard had expired the day before and had to make some calls about it. I did tell them that the only reason I had gotten a return flight is because it’s more then $2000 cheaper (insane of course…).
But after making some calls they finally gave me my boarding pass. The lady behind the check-in counter had never made final arrangements for putting a pet on a plane so I then had to wait nealy 30 minutes for her more experienced colleague to show up. Luckily I had already filled out the necessary form for him so that went fast after he finaly got there. I’m also glad that we had already trained Chewie to go into his kennel so that went smooth. My parents’s check-in went smooth too so after that we got some lunch, boarded the plane and spent the next 10 hours being bored and sleeping.

My sister, youngest brother, Grandma, 1 of my uncles and my best friend were waiting fo me at the airport so that was really sweet of them.

Right now it really feels weird to be back in the house I’ve spent most of my first 25 years in. I’m back in my old bedroom so that makes it feel like old times again. It’s totally changed of course since my parents put a bunch of their antiques in it but at least it’s still the same room on the top floor (I already have a muscle ache from walking 2 stairs lol )

Chewie is handling the move really well. He’s so easy going and mellow that nothing seems to be a big problem. It took me 4 tries to make him realize that he’s allowed to “go” at the grass at the dog walking area (he was never allowed to go at the grass of our old home of course) but that’s not a problem anymore and he loves going out. This weekend I’ll take him to the forest and I’m sure that he’ll have a blast.
I had to learn him a few new commands and he picked those p quickly too. His huge “will to please”makes him so easy to train.
He doesn’t like the stairs though…
My dad actually had to lift all of his 40 kg (~88 pounds) down the stairs because he was to afraid to go down after we finally got him upstairs. He really misses me when I’m in my room but doesn’t dare going to it so I guess that he’ll just have to get used to it for now. Hopefully Raymond and I can move into our new apartment somewhere in January and at least that’s all 1 floor. Chewie will probably miss the yard then but at least he can lay on the balcony then.

I’m glad that my morphine painpills are working well since we already made a lot of arrangements yesterday (I only use them when I go somewhere so I don’t get to addicted to them). The Netherlands knows I’m back to stay, I went shopping with my mum to pick up some stuff Chewie and I need and we couldn’t take with us (I got a new phone and number too). I’m already on health insurance and I filled out some paperwork for a new health check that’s been due for nearly a year now since I’m partly disabled and get money from the government.
This morning I only need to sign myself back in as “looking for work” and make a doctors appointment for some new MRI scans and then I’ve taken care of the most important things.

Wednesday night I slept reall well but this night I woke up at 3 because my back was hurting so badly. Since not even my sleep meditation music could help me fall asleep I started up my new pc and made this blog post instead. I accidentay dropped my mouse when I grabbed my laptop and I think that I’ve woken up nearly everybody (sorry) but I hope that they’ll get back to sleep again easier then me.

I love my new pc by the way. It came with Vista Home so I instandly went online to order the 15 euro upgrade to Wndows 7. It already shipped yesterday evening and once I get and install it, I can finally start installing my favorite programs and start with the new commission.

You may wonder why this post title is a cheap rip-off of the movie V for Vendetta but that’s because I’m stuck with a extra initial now. I’m not going to change my website so I guess that I’ll need a nickname staring with a B.
Suggestions are welcome.

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